Blessed With A Preemie: The day that changed my life forever...

Today has been a weird day. I thought as soon as I woke up, the only thing I would be able to think about was how this day played out a year ago, but it hasn't been that way. When I do look at the time, which is sort of often when I'm seeing how close we are to nap time, I do think back to what was happening at that time last year. So far I have ran through the events of exercising, starting to get the contractions, calling the doctors and talking to the nurse and actually as of right now, I was on the phone with them making an appointment to come in and be seen at 3pm. As I was sitting watching Kenley play this morning, I actually got a few minutes worth of anxiety. I think because I knew what I was getting ready to go through at this time a year ago. Thank goodness I'm not able to see into the future...I would not have handled the events of this day well if I had know what I was in for. I guess this tells me I deal well with surprises and with things not going according to plan.

I occupied my time this morning with checking out monkey decorations online and ordering a really cute banner for K's bday party. That way I didn't dwell on what this day could possibly bring to me emotionally. I thought I would be in tears all day and I actually haven't cried once so far.

I got a couple of pics of K this morning in her monkey pj's but really haven't been in the mood today to snap pics like I have been.

I can't help but wonder, if from this day til her birthday, if I will replay as much of the days as I can remember throughout my head as they pass. I probably will for goodness sakes, who am I kidding. I guess I like torturing myself like that.

The doctor from UNC wants to do K's first lasering on her "bump" on March 1st...to clarify we are on the waiting list for that day because all of the appointments are taken but we are on the add-on list... and part of me wants it to happen then, because I want to get the ball rolling on getting it removed, but another part of me doesn't want it to be on her 1st birthday. Call me selfish but I want to enjoy that day with her, just me and her, and spend the time loving on her and telling her how she was born (of course she'll have no clue what I'm telling her but still) and reminiscing about how my squeaks was brought into the world, rather unexpectedly. I kind of want it to be just a me and her day with no other intrusions. Of course if daddy didn't have to work I would want it to be a me, her and daddy day. I know she won't remember her 1st birthday but I will and I'm not entirely sure I want that day to be marked with memories of more scariness and unknown if she does have the lasering. Two years in a row might be kind of difficult for me.

If someone cancels their appointment for their lasering then we will get a call and of course go and have it done...no since worrying about it right now. I have no control over the situation. I'll post about new revelations with her "bump" soon. I was just waiting to see how things panned out.

So here we are, another year later, another year wiser. 2:21pm...I was getting ready to head to my doctors to be seen and had just gotten off the phone with Jim where he explained that he was leaving work to come home. I told him no, it was probably just a bladder infection, I have to open the dance studio at 4 anyways. I wouldn't be there long...or so I thought. And then my world changed forever!

Here are some pics I took yesterday when K and I got a chance to go outside because it was so flipping nice out! She even got to wear her first pair of shorts!!

She LOVES being outside. I love taking her outside because she can just sit there and sit there and observe her surroundings. I didn't get many smiles from her yesterday because she was so busy just looking around and taking it all in. One thing Jim and I have noticed is this girl is an observer...or nosey as we like to say. She loves to stare at people and look at everything.

These next pictures are pics of what my poor girl has to do while I take a shower. If I put her downstairs in the exersaucer or pack and play and leave the room she will holler so I opt to strap her in this seat that is WAY to small for her now. But she's a good sport and she just hangs out with me while I shower. Granted I can't take a nice long shower like I like to but overall shes a great girl for me.