So here we are...March 1st, 2010...29 weeks along...11 weeks until Kenley's actual due date which was May 17th and I am being wheeled into the operating room to have a c-section because Kenley is ready to join us. She might have been ready but I sure wasn't. I remember looking at the clock on the wall when they had me roll onto the table...it was either 5 or 10 minutes after 3...right at that moment I asked God to give me strength and to please be with me. I got a clear response from him which I heard. I know no one else in the room heard it but I heard him say clearly to me "I am with you daughter." I knew I wasn't alone. I knew He had been with me every step of the way and I knew for sure now that He was not going to leave me when I needed Him the most.
Remember I had to pee!?!!! I thought for sure it was coming on out! They had me sit up on the edge of the table, dangle my legs over the side and one of the OR nurses stood in front of me and held my shoulders and had me relax over into her chest. Here comes the spinal. My heart is racing because I know I have a funky spine and I kept thinking over and over again, please get the nerves because I don't want to have to be put to sleep. At that point Cami was with me and was getting my back ready. She was telling me what she was doing step by step. I had been lying down since 1 o'clock so to now sit up three hours later, it felt really weird. I could definitely feel that Kenley had moved down. It actually felt like if I wanted to I could have done a big push and she would have come flying out, thats how low I felt her. And I'm still holding my pee in!!! Geesh I had to go bad!!!!
She says, "Ok, a little prick" and it did feel like a little prick. It hurt, but not anything I couldn't withstand. Well I had to withstand it at this point I didn't have a choice. Right when she did the prick I felt a weird sensation run down the right side of my back and stop right when it got to my butt. At this point Cami has stopped talking to me and I feel the prick again and the same thing, tingling sensation down the right side to my butt. I remember sitting there and I kept moving my feet to see if they were numb yet. Then again, prick and sensation. Finally Cami asks me if I feel anything and I tell her I feel something but it stops right when it gets to my right butt cheek. Here we go again...prick and sensation. So then I hear her say "Call Dr. the other anesthesiologist (I can't remember his name) and tell him we need him." So basically she can't get my nerves and she needs the other anesthesiologist to come try. I think I'm doomed at this point. I think, well if she can't do it then I'm screwed. They are for sure putting me to sleep. So we sat there and waited for him to come in. Probably only took a few mintues for him to get there but it sure felt longer then that. So he goes to my back and says to me "Well you told me I would be able to see your scoliosis and I can." When he had come to talk to me when I was still in my room and I had told him I was worried about my back I had said "You'll be able to see it." Because I have such a pronounced (as I like to call it) hump on the left side of my back. He said "Ok, little bee sting, and...go ahead and swing your legs on up here and lay down." I remember almost asking, "don't you want to make sure it worked first because the last few times it didn't" But I followed directions and swung my legs up and right at that point I started to feel tingling down my waist into my legs. Now I'm not one to just lay there and be quiet. If something feels weird or I have a question, I'm going to ask to find out what is going on. So right then I say that I feel a tingling in my legs, is that normal. And he tells me yep, thats what you're supposed to feel. Also as I swung my legs up to lie down I remember seeing my doctor standing to the side with her arms crossed and I remember thinking she was probably pissed because it took so long to get me numb. Oh well. So right then I also feel my HUGE desire to pee disappear!!! Thank goodness. Either I went numb and could just no longer feel that I needed to pee or they had already stuck the cathater in me and I really didn't have to go anymore!
So I lie down and they right away put the blue screen up in front of my face and I feel them prop my left side up with something that feels like a wedge almost. Again, I have to ask. They tell me its to keep my weight off of my left side because of the giant vein that runs down your back...when you're pregnant you're not supposed to lay on your back past a certain week because it can hinder your blood flow to the baby. So they were propping one side up almost so that I wasn't lying completly flat on my back. Also right after I laid down my anesthesiologist took a cotton swab and rubs it on my chest to ask what it feels like. He then rubs it on my arm so I can feel the difference. I guess that was to check to make sure I wasn't numb any further up then my chest. So he then sits down beside me and we start having a conversation. He starts talking about his wife just recently having a baby and I asked if he was her Dr. and he explained no because if something were to happen he didn't want to be responsible for it. They have my arms stretched out to the sides and he then puts the nasal canula to my nose, the plastic thing that delivers oxygen with the two prongs that go up your nose, and tells me the oxygen is for the baby not for me. He keeps standing up looking over the screen to see where they are with the c-section. He then tells me I passed the blue crab test. He had said there was a blue crab kept to the side and when they were ready they brought him out to pinch me to make sure I was numb. Then I hear Dr. Pierson say "Incision". So they were cutting into me already. He then says "Your husband better hurry up and get in here, he's going to miss everything." Right then his phone rings and he stands up and walks off and Jim sits down in his place. I didn't realize it at the time but it was probably around 3:35 3:40 at this point. What was supposed to be a 10 minute spinal turned into a 20/25 minute spinal. Cami also at that point stuck a little cotton ball under my nasal canula and tells me its a little rubbing alcohol to help with nausea. Its good that she did that because right then I started to feel sick.
So I'm laying there just staring at the ceiling and I can feel Jim sitting there just staring at me. We dont talk, we don't do anything but lay there, well I laid there, he sat there. Then out of nowhere my body starts rocking back and forth on the table. Like I am being moved from side to side. Jerked is more like it. I feel a heavy pressure on my chest. Almost as if they are up under my ribs doing stuff, and then I hear (I can't remember if Dr. Pierson said that she was out...I want to say she did because I was anticipating hearing her cry) Kenley's weak little cry. Instantly the tears started coming. I think I read somewhere that when preemies are born, you don't always hear their cry. Either they are too small for you to hear it or right away oxygen is put over their face and you can't hear it. So to know she was so tiny and so early, to hear her cry I knew I had a fighter on my hands. I laid there for a bit more and the NICU doctor and nurses wheeled her up beside me so I could see her. She was in her isolet (they used to call them incubators) and I remember it being so surreal seeing her. They stopped only for a split second to let me see her because they told me they wanted to get her to the NICU. They leave and then Jim asks me if I want him to go with her or stay with me. Of course I tell him to go with her and if I knew then what I know now, I would have had him stay with me. So he leaves with her and Cami tells me, about 5 minutes or so after that, that they are still working on closing me up its going to be another 15 minutes or so...I'm thinking...15 minutes!!!???? What in the world is going to take them so long? She asks me since I'm going to by lying there for awhile longer did I want something in my IV that relaxes me? Heck yeah! Well thats what I was thinking but I told her yes. So instantly I start to feel really good!!! Nice and relaxed and I remembering feeling like I was dozing off and all of a sudden Cami says, "Megan, I need you to take three deep breaths for me." So I started to breath nice and deep and kept doing it for awhile longer. I guess they don't want you falling asleep. oopps :)
Then Dr. Pierson pushes down the screen and looks over at me and says "has anyone ever told you you have a bicornuate uterus?" "No" I tell her. And after that I never thought of her saying that to me again until she comes to check on me that next morning. So they finish putting me back together...move me back over to my bed and wheel me to recovery. Jim meets me in there and asks me if I want him to go get my mom and I say yes.
So I'm really drugged up at this point and I remember stuff but its kind of blurry. So hang with me.
I remember laying in bed and feeling drugged but at the same time feeling really awake. It was just us, and a nurse, in recovery and the nurse spent most of her time at the computer by my bed typing stuff in. I'm sure I asked about Kenley but I honestly don't remember what I said. The nurse came over and asked me to wiggle my toes. Or at least try to. So I do it and it feels like I'm doing nothing and she says "They moved. It might not feel like they did but they did a little bit. That's good." I remember mom walking away from the bed to call Stephanie to let her know Kenley was here and everything was good at this point. Now obviously I have a high tolerance for pain. I dilated to 10 cm and had no clue, I was pricked in the spine numerous times for a spinal and never complained about anything. Well what the nurse was about to do to me was the worse pain I have ever felt and know I will ever feel...hopefully. She says to me "Now I will be the only one to do this this hard." and proceeds to push down on my abdomen with both hands with all of her strength. I'm still numb from the waist down but after having your stomach and uterus cut open and your baby pulled from it, having someone push on your abdomen hurts! If I could have moved I think I would have jumped off the table. She apologizes but I have never felt a worse pain in my life. I'm figuring they want to make sure everything feels ok in there and I'm sure to make sure the blood that was coming out was coming out like its supposed to. Apparently they want you to bleed. If you don't then thats a sign of a clot which is not good. I believe I had to stay in recovery for 30 minutes and by the time I got out of there it was around 5. They wheeled me back to my room in Antepartum and my dad came in the room. My nurse was getting things situated and all of a sudden I knew that stuff I drank before the c-section was coming back up. He tells me that Sue and B and Roger and Betty are all coming in to see me and I look at him and say "I'm going to be sick." The nurse hands him a little pink tub and all that nasty stuff I drank a few hours ago comes back up. I feel bad for my dad. Here he is holding this tub for me to puke in...I know he hadn't helped me while I was throwing up since I was a little girl. He then says he's going to tell everyone not to come in cause I wasn't feeling well. I felt bad for them not being able to come in. They had all been there during my surgery and had waited to see me then here I go messing things up by getting sick. I knew they understood though.
So Jim and mom come back in my room and he takes mom and dad down to the NICU to see Kenley and right then my sister and her husband come walking in. They sit down and we talk and after awhile Jim comes back in and is ready to take manda and ryan down to see her. By now mom and dad have my two nieces and are keeping them occupied so manda and ryan can visit with her. My nurse for that night also brought in my pumping equipment and told me that not right now but in the morning I would need to start pumping. Oh what fun that process turned out to be! I'm still really numb. I try moving my legs more and more to get the feeling back but its a slow process. They get me started on my pain meds and tell me that later on that night if I feel up to it I can go down and visit Kenley.
So everyone leaves for the night and Jim and I head down to the NICU. Me in a wheelchair of course and I remember feeling every bump on the way down. After you enter the NICU you have to do a little scrub down procedure. They want you to wash your hands up to your elbows for three minutes to make sure your hands are nice and clean. So he wheels me up to the sink so I can do that. We go into the NICU and into her room. Now I am pretty well drugged so it was really hard for me to cope while I was in the hospital. I don't want to say I was removed from the situation but with the amount of drugs I was on, it almost felt that way. I felt like she was in good hands and if I needed to know anything, the nurses and doctors knew where to find me. Unless you've been in that situation yourself its really hard to explain. I don't want to come off as being a cold hearted person but the feelings I had were very weird. Here I was just having my daughter but someone else was taking care of her. They didn't really need me for anything did they. Again...really hard to explain how I felt. This NICU was GREAT. Every baby had their own room and I couldn't imagine her having been in any other place. We went into the room and they lowered the isolet so I could see her. I remember thinking how small she was but I don't think I actually shed tears over the situation until that next morning. The had the CPAP on her face. Luckily she never had to be venilated. Her lungs were strong enough but she did need the CPAP for a couple days and she was on oxygen (nasal canula) for 13 days.
So here we were. She had arrived early...we had no idea why but we were about to find out. The next chapter will be about finding out why she came early and explaining why to this day, 6 months later, I am still sore from my c-section. (it has something to do with being jerked around on the table during the c-section) And also it will be her journey...57 days worth...of being in the NICU I still have a lot more to share!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Chapter 2...Part 2...A week in the hospital
So to back up for a minute, I was admitted into the hospital on Tuesday, Feburary 23rd...and moved to Antepartum on Wednesday, Feburary 24th and Baby Girl was not due until May 17th. I planned on being in the hospital for a loooonnnngggg time.
So after I was moved to Antepartum that Wednesday night I was told it was just a waiting game. They wanted to keep me pregnant as long as possible and to them that meant until I was at least 34 or 35 weeks. At first the thought of being in the hospital for 6 weeks disturbed me greatly. What in the world was I going to do for all that time? I knew eventually Jim would have to go back to work but what about me? I couldn't work out anymore, go to work, run errands, I just had to sit there. Thank goodness I'm a tv girl and love to read because I figured that was what my life was going to consist of for quite awhile. I finally came to terms with the situation and came to accept that being in the hospital for that long was a good thing and it was good for my baby so if I needed to be there that long then so be it. I also have AMAZING parents and friends because for that week they were there as much as possible to keep me company. Every day my dad would come keep me company and give Jim a break to go home and do stuff. If I remember correctly my dad decided to not return to work that week, he would get up in the morning, get himself ready and head over to the hospital. At the beginning of Feburary my mom had gone back to work full time taking over a class for a lady that was in the hospital sick. So everyday after she got off work she would come see me. My second mom Sue, her husband Barry would also come over in the afternoon to keep me company and bring me books and snacks. His daughter Breni came at one point bringing me a load of gossip magazines to keep me company. My sister and my two nieces came that weekend bringing me books, magazines, coloring books (from mallory) and Amanda spent pretty much all of Saturday and Sunday morning with me in my room. My childhood friend Erin, who also had had a preemie, came up to visit that Saturday and brought me ALL of Reilly's preemie clothes, newborn clothes, 0-3 months clothes, 3-6 months clothes, her carseat and extra base, her basinette, I could go on forever. She pretty much brought me everything that Reilly did not use anymore. I was so bleseed by this because up until that point I had not even gotten to have a baby shower. So Jim and I had nothing for Kenley. We had her baby furniture and of course some clothes and blankets that had already been given to us but nothing else. As soon as I realized I wouldn't be leaving the hosptial until after Kenley came I kind of had a panic moment when I realized we didn't even have a carseat to bring her home yet. But I then reminded myself that she would be in the hospital for a bit after being born so I would have time to get what I needed.
Like I just mentioned, I have the world's best family and friends and support system. Shortly after moving to Antepartem, Sue and B bought Kenley her mattress and her bedding! After Kenley was born Jim and I came home one day to a huge package outside our door and his Aunt Laura had bought and sent us our travel system which was her carseat and stroller we had picked out. We are and so truly blessed and thankful and grateful for everything everyone did for us during that time. We are so lucky to say the least. The week I was sent to the hospital a co-worker of Jim's had been planning a little surprise baby shower for him at work and I was in talks with her about getting up there to surprise him at it. Well of course that shower had to be canceled but her and another one of Jim's co-workers collected money at work and with that money went to Babies R Us and bought us stuff off our registery. They came up to my room that Friday evening and gave us our gifts and visited with us. Blessed...And the flowers I received were amazing! I got flowers from friends, my first set of flowers being from my best friend Jenny and her husband, daughter and mom in SC. I got flowers from my boss, my friend Kim in Wilmington, my family in Ohio, Jims family in Californa...we had so many people that were thinking of us and loved us. I also can't even count how many messages over facebook I got from people letting us know that they were praying for us and thinking about us. I was nervous about Kenley coming early but I had such a feeling of peace about the whole situation, one that could only have come from our Lord. I knew He was in control and I had all my trust in Him and I knew what was meant to be would be.
So back to being in Antepartum. I was no longer on an IV and they even took the needle out of my arm that Thursday. For a couple days they gave me penicillin pills but that stopped as well. Oh...and because I had such a hard time sleeping they would give me Ambien everynight. Best stuff in the world!!! Talk about sleeping well!!! They informed me it was a drug that didn't cross the placenta so that is why I could take it everynight. Jim started going home on Thursday night to sleep in our bed because I knew he was uncomfortable and he needed to be there to take care of the dogs. Each night I would have a nurse...I would have a nurse during the day and then one at night...and that nurse had a nurses assistant and I lucked out and had the same assistant from Thursday night all the way to Sunday night. The assistant was Jeri and she was GREAT!!! By the time Sunday came around she was telling Jim and I she liked being in our room hanging out because we were the fun room! We would have talks about her kids and the dog they just adopted and that night she informed me she wouldn't be back to work until that Thursday night and she fully expected to still see me in my room when she got back! I remember when I went into labor saying that Jeri was going to be pissed at me because I would be gone when she got back!
It was an uneventful stay but at the same time it wasn't. I noticed that the day nurses were way more relaxed and chill then the night nurses. A couple days I would see my day nurse maybe twice whereas I would always see my night nurses at least 4 or 5 times a night. For some reason my blood pressure would sky rocket in the morning and and at night. Also for whatever reason my temp would go up to 99.4 everynight! I have no clue why. Well one day, the day nurse that had been taking my blood pressure...it was running high...had not informed my doctor on duty of it being high. So when my doctor found out she flipped out on the nurse. We didn't see her do it but I was informed by my night nurse that my doctor was not happy. That doctor that evening, Dr. Jones who I had seen once since I was pregnant, came in my room that night and wanted to do an ultraound right there to check the baby. Now that I think back I should have been more worried because that was not a normal thing to have happen, but I wasn't. She did the ultrasound and it wasn't a fun, lets look at the baby ultrasound. She was looking at the baby to make sure everything was ok with her so I didn't really get to see the screen. She did the ultrasound for about 20 minutes. She then told us that in a matter of 30 minutes they expect to see the baby do at least 3 things. Whether that was raising their hand, opening or closing their mouths, or just plain moving, and my baby had done her three things in 9 minutes time so she was satisfied with that. I guess because of my high blood pressure there was a chance that Kenley could have been in distress and she was extremly ticked that she hadn't been made aware of the situation. Needless to say I didn't have that nurse again while I was there. Then that Firday night, because of my temperature (I think) they wanted to make sure I wasn't getting pregancy induced hypertension (again, I think...some of the medical terms run together and are hazy from 6 months ago) So I had to write down my liquid intake, catch my urine in a little hat that sat in the toliet, write down how much there was and then pour it in a bucket on ice in my bathroom. I had to do that for 24 hrs so they could take my urine and test it. Well it came back negative but then they still wanted me to track my intake and outake of liquids and they informed me I would be doing that unti the baby came. Oh fabulous!! I remember Jeri explaning everything to me that Friday night and Jim had gone up front to meet our friend Andy and bring him back to the room and by the time Jim got back I was in tears. I was so stressed from being monitored and having to do things and having to be in the hospital. I felt bad for Andy because he walked into the room and here I was breaking down and he didn't know what to do or say. Also that Thursday they took me down the hall and did a super hytech ultrasound to check the fluids in me and the blood flow. Everything with that was fine. My numbers were low but they were still in the normal range. And they told me they would do one of those ultrasounds a week to check everything.
So that Saturday night, its almost time for Jim to head home, and I start to bleed. Not bright red blood. More like a light pink but they had always told me to let them know if I started to bleed. So I got freaked out, Jim got freaked out and we told my nurse. She looked at the blood and didn't seem concerned because it was so light but she put me on the monitor anyways. Everything was fine with the baby. And by that Sunday morning it had stopped.
Sunday night is here and Jim is getting ready to go back to work that next day. My friend Stephanie from Raleigh had told me she wanted to drive down to be with me that day because that was the first day I wouldn't have anyone keeping me company. She would be down around 11am, we would hang out, watch a movie, order pizza and she would have to leave by 1:45 to get back home. She was driving 2 hours to be with me!!!! I was so excited to see her because I hadn't seen her or really talked to her since January. So Jim leaves that night to go home and I of course cry because I know I won't get to see him until late Monday. Jeri told me, after he left, that he had stopped at the nurse's desk on the way out and reminded them that his number was on the board in my room. Please call him if anything new happened. Jeri was like "Bless his heart. He is so concerned for you." She did her best to reassure him that if anything happened she would call him and also, with him going back to work, if anything did happen and he needed to get to the hospital, he would have time. His worst fear was returning to work, an hours drive away, and getting a call in the middle of the day that the baby was coming. She told him not to worry, if they baby did decide to come, it would take awhile to get the baby here. He would have time to get to the hospital from work. I was pretty convinced Kenley would be taking her time getting here and so I was not worried at all about her arriving anytime soon. Boy was I wrong!!!
Monday morning I wake up...Steph is almost to the hospital and I jump in the shower real quick. Its about 11 am at this point and she comes in gets settled and we gossip and talk for 2 hours! Finally we decide we need to order food because she is going to have to leave soon. She calls the pizza place and pizza is delieved a little before 1. While she goes to the desk to get the pizza I get up to use the bathroom and my heart drops when I (sorry to get gross) wipe. There is bright RED blood on the toliet paper. I kind of panic and I hear Steph come back in the room and I tell her, from in the bathroom, I need her to call my nurse. She says ok, what number do I call. I gather myself and realize that I can call, she doesn't need to. I go into the room and tell Steph about the blood. I call my nurse and she comes right in. I show her the toliet paper and she she doesn't seem worried but she tells me to lay down she'll put the monitor on me to check the baby. So I am laying there, and I almost eat some pizza because I'm hungry but at the same time a thought enters my mind, what if Kenley's on her way out, I don't think I'm supposed to have food on my stomach. At this point we knew she was head up so no matter what she was going to be a C-Section baby. The nurse leaves and I sit there with Steph a bit longer and I tell her I'm worried. She aks me if I've seen my doctor for the day yet and I tell her no. She goes "Do you want to see your doctor?" I tell her yes, it would make me feel better. Now Stephanie is a get it done gal. She doesn't play around. She has no problem informing people if she needs something or asking questions so she goes out into the hall and tells my nurse to get my doctore I would like to see her. At the time I didn't realize Steph being there that day would be significant but now I know it was. God put her with me that day for a reason. To get my doctor for me, to hold my hand while they did my IV, to hold my hand and reassure me while the doctor checked me, to be with me when my doctor tells me I'm 10 cm dilated, to call Jim for me because I am beside myself and to call my daddy for me to tell him to get to the hospital because I still can't talk. Just writing this I get tears in my eyes going back to that day. She was my angel that day and I will be forever grateful to her for being there for me.
So Dr. Pierson comes in, I had not seen her while I was pregnant but I had seen her in Aug. for my yearly, and it was lunch time and I remember feeling bad for pulling her away from her lunch because she was still chewing some of it when she entered my room. (We joke about that now and she tells me she can't believe she came in my room chewing food, she didn't realize she had done that, but I tell her I think its funny. I felt bad for taking her away from her lunch) So she asks me whats going on, I tell her about the bleeding and she said, "Well I'll take a look but I'm sure everythings fine, unless of course I see two little feet dangling in the birth canal." I laugh at that satement and she looks at me and says "I've seen it before." Oh, I thought she was kidding. So she gets me ready and actually looks in me, doesn't say anything but then tells me she's going to see if I'm dilated at all. She feels around and stands up and says to me "Well it looks like you're 10 cm dialted, how fast can your husband get here?" (and to find out later on, she did see one of Kenley's heels in the birth canal) I reply that he is an hour away and she gets a look on her face like, oh goodness, but I already have my phone in my hands ready to call. I ask Steph to call him because by now I have tears streaming down my face and I knew I would never be able to talk once he answered the phone. The rest I remember but at the same time is a blur. Dr. Pierson proceeds to tell me that because the baby is in a breech position they well need to de a c-section. She will try to keep my incision a horizontal line but if need be she might have to make a vertical cut up my middle. They will try to stop the bleeding to the best of their control but if she can't stop the bleeding she will have to give me a hysterectomy. I'm taking this all in and just nodding my head in agreement that I understand what she is saying. Steph tells me Jim is on the way and I then ask if she'll call my dad for me. I would have called mom but I knew she was in the middle of teaching and I didn't want to disturb her. Yeah right, I'm 10 cm dilated and I didn't want to disturb her. So Steph calls my dad and hes on the way. By this time its 1:45 and I know she has to get back home so I tell her to leave. She tells me she is not going anywhere until my dad gets there. I tell her I'll be fine, you need to get home just go ahead. She tells me no and right at that moment one of her daughters call her. I know both of her daughters from dance so she tells her she can't talk right now that she is with me and I'm getting ready to have the baby. I believe it was Alex, her daughter at ECU. She tells her she'll call her back and then tells me that Alex said she'll be praying for me. Again, so many prayers. By this time my room is like grand central station. I think every nurse working in Antepartum that day is now in my room. Even the head nurse is in there doing paper work and I'm laying in bed like a bump on a long. So the IV process starts again. Same as before. They look at one arm, switch to the other arm, poke me in that arm and miss. Go back to the original arm, miss again and then go back to my right arm and finally get a vein halfway up my arm. This my folks is only the beginning!! They have me change into a gown and put a little plastic container of something on my chest and tell me I'll need to drink it before I go into surgery. Then my mom and dad come walking in the room and I think they made it there in record time! My mom thanks Stephanie for being there for me, as do I and I cry some more and she tells me everything is going to be fine please have my mom call her afterwards so she knows whats going on. By now its a little after 2. The time flies by for me. People are in and out, I sign things, not sure what I sign but paper after paper are put in front of me. Finally the anesthesiologist comes in to talk to me. He was a cutie...Dr. holy cow I can't remember his name. I'll have to ask my mom. Anyways...he tells me that the most pain I'll feel is like a bee sting, and they will test me before they slice into me to make sure I'm numb. He was totally cool, calm and collected. I told him I had scoliosis and I was worried with my spine being curved. He told me it probably wouldn't be a problem but if they couldn't get me numb then he would have to put me+ out completly. He then had me open my mouth to see how big my airway was. He also asked if I had any family memebers with issues about waking up during surgery. Thank goodness no I told him. Just then one of the NICU doctors, Dr. Logan popped his head into my room and told me he would be the doctor in the delivery room when Kenley was born and he would be taking care of her, so I got to meet him. Dr. Pierson had also been back in to tell me that the room I was delivering in was being occupied by another c-section so we still had some time to wait. By now it was about 2:30 and I called Jim to ask where he was. He was close to the hosptial. About another 5 minutes or so away. By now I had to pee really really bad and I asked if I could get up real quick to go to the bathroom. They told me that I would have a catheter in soon enough and I needed to wait. I felt like I was going to pee on myself I had to go so bad.
So Jim comes in about 2:45...it took him 40 minutes to get to the hospital from work...normally it would take an hour so he flew to the hospital. I don't remember the exact time we headed back but I know it wasn't much longer. They brought scrubs in for Jim to put on and he ripped the crotch wide open as he was putting them on. He has huge feet so he went to ask if the little booties were supposed to go all the way over his shoes because with his big feet they weren't. We had some comedic moments as were getting ready. The Lord was with us, He was helping us to stay calm. Then they tell me to drink the stuff they gave me. I pinch my nose with my fingers and pretend I'm doing a shot of jager and drink it. It almost came right back up thats how nasty the stuff tasted. Then the other anesthesiologist comes in and tells me her name is Cami and she would be assisting in my c-section as well. So her and another nurse wheel me down the hall and around the corner to the operating room. At this point I have already said bye to mom and dad and now Jim gives me a quick kiss as they tell him to stay out in the hall and they would call him in...in about 10 minutes or so. So here begins another journey. Kenley arriving. The story gets more interesting if you can believe it.
Chapter 3 is next!
So after I was moved to Antepartum that Wednesday night I was told it was just a waiting game. They wanted to keep me pregnant as long as possible and to them that meant until I was at least 34 or 35 weeks. At first the thought of being in the hospital for 6 weeks disturbed me greatly. What in the world was I going to do for all that time? I knew eventually Jim would have to go back to work but what about me? I couldn't work out anymore, go to work, run errands, I just had to sit there. Thank goodness I'm a tv girl and love to read because I figured that was what my life was going to consist of for quite awhile. I finally came to terms with the situation and came to accept that being in the hospital for that long was a good thing and it was good for my baby so if I needed to be there that long then so be it. I also have AMAZING parents and friends because for that week they were there as much as possible to keep me company. Every day my dad would come keep me company and give Jim a break to go home and do stuff. If I remember correctly my dad decided to not return to work that week, he would get up in the morning, get himself ready and head over to the hospital. At the beginning of Feburary my mom had gone back to work full time taking over a class for a lady that was in the hospital sick. So everyday after she got off work she would come see me. My second mom Sue, her husband Barry would also come over in the afternoon to keep me company and bring me books and snacks. His daughter Breni came at one point bringing me a load of gossip magazines to keep me company. My sister and my two nieces came that weekend bringing me books, magazines, coloring books (from mallory) and Amanda spent pretty much all of Saturday and Sunday morning with me in my room. My childhood friend Erin, who also had had a preemie, came up to visit that Saturday and brought me ALL of Reilly's preemie clothes, newborn clothes, 0-3 months clothes, 3-6 months clothes, her carseat and extra base, her basinette, I could go on forever. She pretty much brought me everything that Reilly did not use anymore. I was so bleseed by this because up until that point I had not even gotten to have a baby shower. So Jim and I had nothing for Kenley. We had her baby furniture and of course some clothes and blankets that had already been given to us but nothing else. As soon as I realized I wouldn't be leaving the hosptial until after Kenley came I kind of had a panic moment when I realized we didn't even have a carseat to bring her home yet. But I then reminded myself that she would be in the hospital for a bit after being born so I would have time to get what I needed.
Like I just mentioned, I have the world's best family and friends and support system. Shortly after moving to Antepartem, Sue and B bought Kenley her mattress and her bedding! After Kenley was born Jim and I came home one day to a huge package outside our door and his Aunt Laura had bought and sent us our travel system which was her carseat and stroller we had picked out. We are and so truly blessed and thankful and grateful for everything everyone did for us during that time. We are so lucky to say the least. The week I was sent to the hospital a co-worker of Jim's had been planning a little surprise baby shower for him at work and I was in talks with her about getting up there to surprise him at it. Well of course that shower had to be canceled but her and another one of Jim's co-workers collected money at work and with that money went to Babies R Us and bought us stuff off our registery. They came up to my room that Friday evening and gave us our gifts and visited with us. Blessed...And the flowers I received were amazing! I got flowers from friends, my first set of flowers being from my best friend Jenny and her husband, daughter and mom in SC. I got flowers from my boss, my friend Kim in Wilmington, my family in Ohio, Jims family in Californa...we had so many people that were thinking of us and loved us. I also can't even count how many messages over facebook I got from people letting us know that they were praying for us and thinking about us. I was nervous about Kenley coming early but I had such a feeling of peace about the whole situation, one that could only have come from our Lord. I knew He was in control and I had all my trust in Him and I knew what was meant to be would be.
So back to being in Antepartum. I was no longer on an IV and they even took the needle out of my arm that Thursday. For a couple days they gave me penicillin pills but that stopped as well. Oh...and because I had such a hard time sleeping they would give me Ambien everynight. Best stuff in the world!!! Talk about sleeping well!!! They informed me it was a drug that didn't cross the placenta so that is why I could take it everynight. Jim started going home on Thursday night to sleep in our bed because I knew he was uncomfortable and he needed to be there to take care of the dogs. Each night I would have a nurse...I would have a nurse during the day and then one at night...and that nurse had a nurses assistant and I lucked out and had the same assistant from Thursday night all the way to Sunday night. The assistant was Jeri and she was GREAT!!! By the time Sunday came around she was telling Jim and I she liked being in our room hanging out because we were the fun room! We would have talks about her kids and the dog they just adopted and that night she informed me she wouldn't be back to work until that Thursday night and she fully expected to still see me in my room when she got back! I remember when I went into labor saying that Jeri was going to be pissed at me because I would be gone when she got back!
It was an uneventful stay but at the same time it wasn't. I noticed that the day nurses were way more relaxed and chill then the night nurses. A couple days I would see my day nurse maybe twice whereas I would always see my night nurses at least 4 or 5 times a night. For some reason my blood pressure would sky rocket in the morning and and at night. Also for whatever reason my temp would go up to 99.4 everynight! I have no clue why. Well one day, the day nurse that had been taking my blood pressure...it was running high...had not informed my doctor on duty of it being high. So when my doctor found out she flipped out on the nurse. We didn't see her do it but I was informed by my night nurse that my doctor was not happy. That doctor that evening, Dr. Jones who I had seen once since I was pregnant, came in my room that night and wanted to do an ultraound right there to check the baby. Now that I think back I should have been more worried because that was not a normal thing to have happen, but I wasn't. She did the ultrasound and it wasn't a fun, lets look at the baby ultrasound. She was looking at the baby to make sure everything was ok with her so I didn't really get to see the screen. She did the ultrasound for about 20 minutes. She then told us that in a matter of 30 minutes they expect to see the baby do at least 3 things. Whether that was raising their hand, opening or closing their mouths, or just plain moving, and my baby had done her three things in 9 minutes time so she was satisfied with that. I guess because of my high blood pressure there was a chance that Kenley could have been in distress and she was extremly ticked that she hadn't been made aware of the situation. Needless to say I didn't have that nurse again while I was there. Then that Firday night, because of my temperature (I think) they wanted to make sure I wasn't getting pregancy induced hypertension (again, I think...some of the medical terms run together and are hazy from 6 months ago) So I had to write down my liquid intake, catch my urine in a little hat that sat in the toliet, write down how much there was and then pour it in a bucket on ice in my bathroom. I had to do that for 24 hrs so they could take my urine and test it. Well it came back negative but then they still wanted me to track my intake and outake of liquids and they informed me I would be doing that unti the baby came. Oh fabulous!! I remember Jeri explaning everything to me that Friday night and Jim had gone up front to meet our friend Andy and bring him back to the room and by the time Jim got back I was in tears. I was so stressed from being monitored and having to do things and having to be in the hospital. I felt bad for Andy because he walked into the room and here I was breaking down and he didn't know what to do or say. Also that Thursday they took me down the hall and did a super hytech ultrasound to check the fluids in me and the blood flow. Everything with that was fine. My numbers were low but they were still in the normal range. And they told me they would do one of those ultrasounds a week to check everything.
So that Saturday night, its almost time for Jim to head home, and I start to bleed. Not bright red blood. More like a light pink but they had always told me to let them know if I started to bleed. So I got freaked out, Jim got freaked out and we told my nurse. She looked at the blood and didn't seem concerned because it was so light but she put me on the monitor anyways. Everything was fine with the baby. And by that Sunday morning it had stopped.
Sunday night is here and Jim is getting ready to go back to work that next day. My friend Stephanie from Raleigh had told me she wanted to drive down to be with me that day because that was the first day I wouldn't have anyone keeping me company. She would be down around 11am, we would hang out, watch a movie, order pizza and she would have to leave by 1:45 to get back home. She was driving 2 hours to be with me!!!! I was so excited to see her because I hadn't seen her or really talked to her since January. So Jim leaves that night to go home and I of course cry because I know I won't get to see him until late Monday. Jeri told me, after he left, that he had stopped at the nurse's desk on the way out and reminded them that his number was on the board in my room. Please call him if anything new happened. Jeri was like "Bless his heart. He is so concerned for you." She did her best to reassure him that if anything happened she would call him and also, with him going back to work, if anything did happen and he needed to get to the hospital, he would have time. His worst fear was returning to work, an hours drive away, and getting a call in the middle of the day that the baby was coming. She told him not to worry, if they baby did decide to come, it would take awhile to get the baby here. He would have time to get to the hospital from work. I was pretty convinced Kenley would be taking her time getting here and so I was not worried at all about her arriving anytime soon. Boy was I wrong!!!
Monday morning I wake up...Steph is almost to the hospital and I jump in the shower real quick. Its about 11 am at this point and she comes in gets settled and we gossip and talk for 2 hours! Finally we decide we need to order food because she is going to have to leave soon. She calls the pizza place and pizza is delieved a little before 1. While she goes to the desk to get the pizza I get up to use the bathroom and my heart drops when I (sorry to get gross) wipe. There is bright RED blood on the toliet paper. I kind of panic and I hear Steph come back in the room and I tell her, from in the bathroom, I need her to call my nurse. She says ok, what number do I call. I gather myself and realize that I can call, she doesn't need to. I go into the room and tell Steph about the blood. I call my nurse and she comes right in. I show her the toliet paper and she she doesn't seem worried but she tells me to lay down she'll put the monitor on me to check the baby. So I am laying there, and I almost eat some pizza because I'm hungry but at the same time a thought enters my mind, what if Kenley's on her way out, I don't think I'm supposed to have food on my stomach. At this point we knew she was head up so no matter what she was going to be a C-Section baby. The nurse leaves and I sit there with Steph a bit longer and I tell her I'm worried. She aks me if I've seen my doctor for the day yet and I tell her no. She goes "Do you want to see your doctor?" I tell her yes, it would make me feel better. Now Stephanie is a get it done gal. She doesn't play around. She has no problem informing people if she needs something or asking questions so she goes out into the hall and tells my nurse to get my doctore I would like to see her. At the time I didn't realize Steph being there that day would be significant but now I know it was. God put her with me that day for a reason. To get my doctor for me, to hold my hand while they did my IV, to hold my hand and reassure me while the doctor checked me, to be with me when my doctor tells me I'm 10 cm dilated, to call Jim for me because I am beside myself and to call my daddy for me to tell him to get to the hospital because I still can't talk. Just writing this I get tears in my eyes going back to that day. She was my angel that day and I will be forever grateful to her for being there for me.
So Dr. Pierson comes in, I had not seen her while I was pregnant but I had seen her in Aug. for my yearly, and it was lunch time and I remember feeling bad for pulling her away from her lunch because she was still chewing some of it when she entered my room. (We joke about that now and she tells me she can't believe she came in my room chewing food, she didn't realize she had done that, but I tell her I think its funny. I felt bad for taking her away from her lunch) So she asks me whats going on, I tell her about the bleeding and she said, "Well I'll take a look but I'm sure everythings fine, unless of course I see two little feet dangling in the birth canal." I laugh at that satement and she looks at me and says "I've seen it before." Oh, I thought she was kidding. So she gets me ready and actually looks in me, doesn't say anything but then tells me she's going to see if I'm dilated at all. She feels around and stands up and says to me "Well it looks like you're 10 cm dialted, how fast can your husband get here?" (and to find out later on, she did see one of Kenley's heels in the birth canal) I reply that he is an hour away and she gets a look on her face like, oh goodness, but I already have my phone in my hands ready to call. I ask Steph to call him because by now I have tears streaming down my face and I knew I would never be able to talk once he answered the phone. The rest I remember but at the same time is a blur. Dr. Pierson proceeds to tell me that because the baby is in a breech position they well need to de a c-section. She will try to keep my incision a horizontal line but if need be she might have to make a vertical cut up my middle. They will try to stop the bleeding to the best of their control but if she can't stop the bleeding she will have to give me a hysterectomy. I'm taking this all in and just nodding my head in agreement that I understand what she is saying. Steph tells me Jim is on the way and I then ask if she'll call my dad for me. I would have called mom but I knew she was in the middle of teaching and I didn't want to disturb her. Yeah right, I'm 10 cm dilated and I didn't want to disturb her. So Steph calls my dad and hes on the way. By this time its 1:45 and I know she has to get back home so I tell her to leave. She tells me she is not going anywhere until my dad gets there. I tell her I'll be fine, you need to get home just go ahead. She tells me no and right at that moment one of her daughters call her. I know both of her daughters from dance so she tells her she can't talk right now that she is with me and I'm getting ready to have the baby. I believe it was Alex, her daughter at ECU. She tells her she'll call her back and then tells me that Alex said she'll be praying for me. Again, so many prayers. By this time my room is like grand central station. I think every nurse working in Antepartum that day is now in my room. Even the head nurse is in there doing paper work and I'm laying in bed like a bump on a long. So the IV process starts again. Same as before. They look at one arm, switch to the other arm, poke me in that arm and miss. Go back to the original arm, miss again and then go back to my right arm and finally get a vein halfway up my arm. This my folks is only the beginning!! They have me change into a gown and put a little plastic container of something on my chest and tell me I'll need to drink it before I go into surgery. Then my mom and dad come walking in the room and I think they made it there in record time! My mom thanks Stephanie for being there for me, as do I and I cry some more and she tells me everything is going to be fine please have my mom call her afterwards so she knows whats going on. By now its a little after 2. The time flies by for me. People are in and out, I sign things, not sure what I sign but paper after paper are put in front of me. Finally the anesthesiologist comes in to talk to me. He was a cutie...Dr. holy cow I can't remember his name. I'll have to ask my mom. Anyways...he tells me that the most pain I'll feel is like a bee sting, and they will test me before they slice into me to make sure I'm numb. He was totally cool, calm and collected. I told him I had scoliosis and I was worried with my spine being curved. He told me it probably wouldn't be a problem but if they couldn't get me numb then he would have to put me+ out completly. He then had me open my mouth to see how big my airway was. He also asked if I had any family memebers with issues about waking up during surgery. Thank goodness no I told him. Just then one of the NICU doctors, Dr. Logan popped his head into my room and told me he would be the doctor in the delivery room when Kenley was born and he would be taking care of her, so I got to meet him. Dr. Pierson had also been back in to tell me that the room I was delivering in was being occupied by another c-section so we still had some time to wait. By now it was about 2:30 and I called Jim to ask where he was. He was close to the hosptial. About another 5 minutes or so away. By now I had to pee really really bad and I asked if I could get up real quick to go to the bathroom. They told me that I would have a catheter in soon enough and I needed to wait. I felt like I was going to pee on myself I had to go so bad.
So Jim comes in about 2:45...it took him 40 minutes to get to the hospital from work...normally it would take an hour so he flew to the hospital. I don't remember the exact time we headed back but I know it wasn't much longer. They brought scrubs in for Jim to put on and he ripped the crotch wide open as he was putting them on. He has huge feet so he went to ask if the little booties were supposed to go all the way over his shoes because with his big feet they weren't. We had some comedic moments as were getting ready. The Lord was with us, He was helping us to stay calm. Then they tell me to drink the stuff they gave me. I pinch my nose with my fingers and pretend I'm doing a shot of jager and drink it. It almost came right back up thats how nasty the stuff tasted. Then the other anesthesiologist comes in and tells me her name is Cami and she would be assisting in my c-section as well. So her and another nurse wheel me down the hall and around the corner to the operating room. At this point I have already said bye to mom and dad and now Jim gives me a quick kiss as they tell him to stay out in the hall and they would call him in...in about 10 minutes or so. So here begins another journey. Kenley arriving. The story gets more interesting if you can believe it.
Chapter 3 is next!
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Chapter 2 Part 1...A week in the hospital
I have to split this week into 2 parts because of all that happens.
So here I am really dazed with my mind racing a mile a minute driving myself to the hospital (which by the way thankfully was right beside my doctors office, I probably could have walked there if I wanted to) and my phone rings and my friend Lindsi's name pops up on my screen. I thought that it was weird she was calling me because we only call each other to talk dance stuff but here she was calling at this minute. I pick up and say hello and she says "What are you doing?" I reply driving to the hospital. She tells me that Mary Beth (my boss) had called her and told her she was worried about me and she wanted her to call me to make sure everything was alright. So I was on the phone with Lindsi explaining what had happened while I was driving into the hospital parking lot that I had never driven into before and was trying to read the signs and talk and figure out where to park all at the same time. I come upon two parking spots right up front that have a sign for pregnant mothers. Well I was a pregnant mother but here I go thinking of everyone else before myself again. I almost pulled in the spot but knew my car would be parked there for awhile and I didn't want to take a spot away from another pregnant mother that would really need it so I passed the spot. And mind you the parking lot was full!!! It was hard to find a spot but I found one shortly after passing up the other spot and told Lindsi I would be in contact that I was walking into the hospital.
I walk into the hospital, never having been there before so I have no clue where I'm going, and walk up to the first desk I see. There is a woman sitting behind the desk and I tell her "I'm here to get admitted." And she asks why...I say "Ummm, I'm having a baby." She then asks if I need a wheelchair and I tell her no. She tells me to get on the elevator up to the first floor take a left and I will see the people behind the desk I need to talk to. Right then Jim calls my phone and is proceeding to ask me what I want from home. God bless him for thinking of that and calling but here I was trying to find my way around the darn hospital and my mind was reeling...I couldn't think. I told him I didn't know what I wanted. Just come to the hospital and he could run back home later if he needed to. He had stopped at the house really quick to let the dogs out and thank goodness he did because lord knows how long they would have eventually gone without going outside.
So I go upstairs and walk to the desk and tell them I'm there to be admitted. They take my paper work and one lady walks me down the hall to another desk and she tells me they will finish helping me. The lady (now I remember this part but some of it is not that clear because I don't remember exactly what was said but it's close enough) asks for my name and then just like you see in the movies, "Do you have your insurance card with you?" So I give her my card, she says she'll return it in a bit and gets up to walk me to my room. She could tell I was upset so she tried her best to reassure me that everything would be ok and that just made me cry even more. I remember walking into my room and they were just finishing putting new sheets on my bed. They told me to change into the gown they had for me and after that I had some paper work to fill out. Now remember I am STILL by myself!! I change and get on the bed to fill out the paper work but first, there is a flat screen tv in the room, I have to put on a channel I want to watch. At least I could watch something on tv I enjoyed. I start the paper work and right at that minute I look up to see Jim, my mom, and my second mom, Sue come into the room. All with looks of panic on their faces. By this time, I was done crying, I was calm and the situation was what it was. Nothing I could do about it now. Jim walks over to me puts his arm around me, in his other arm hes carrying my body pillow, and hugs me and starts to cry. I hold him and let him cry for a bit but I don't get upset because I think all the upset I got out at the doctors and on the way to the hospital. He hands me my blankie...I would be lost without that thing...and pulls up a chair beside the bed to sit with me. Mom and Sue go and sit on the oh so comfy couch by the window. I'm being sarcastic. The part of the hospital I was in had just been renovated a couple years ago so I must admit it was pretty darn nice but their choice of couch, that pulled out into a little bed, was as hard as a rock. Jim can confirm that! I was in a labor and delivery room because they wanted to hook me up to all the monitors and watch the baby to see if she was coming that night.
So the nurse comes in and gets the monitor around my tummy so we can hear Kenley's heartbeat and then tells me "I hope you brought your veins with you." Meaning she was doing my IV and she hoped she didn't have to poke me a lot to get one. Well here starts another interesting part of the story. Not only did I NOT bring my veins, one nurse said I had little bird veins, but they roll also. So the nurse sits down and I hand her my arm and she starts look to find a vein. After a couple minutes she decides to try the other arm and see if she can find a vein in that one. She thinks she has found one and and I have my head turned and am holding Jim's hand because I DO NOT like needles. I hate getting my finger pricked for goodness sakes much less a huge needle put in my arm. She sticks me, misses the vein, pulls it out and sticks me again. Only to miss again. So she puts a bandaid on my arm and goes back to my left arm. She looks again and then decides to get some warm blankets and wrap them around my arm. I guess this helps bring the veins to the surface of the skin or makes them easier to see. I don't know I'm not a nurse. Anyways she lets the blankets sit for a bit and comes back and looks again. At this point another nurse had entered the room and she called that nurse over to look at my arm to try to do the IV. The nurse looks at my arm and then suggests bringing another nurse in, she said her name, to do the IV. So a third nurse comes in, looks at my arm, and in one prick gets my vein. Thank goodness. But all this pricking is only the beginning of what I had to endure while at the hospital. Just you wait until the part about Kenley arriving gets here!
So they start pumping me with penicillin, have me hooked up to the monitor and the armband to take my blood pressure every 30 minutes. Now its a waiting game. We are just waiting for Dr. Foiles to come talk to us and tell us what she thinks after they observe my monitors out in the hallway. By this time my dad had shown up and I think now its going on about 6 o'clock. The nurse that did my IV comes back and tells me shes going to give me a steriod shot. It will help develop the baby's lungs quicker. So I'm thinking in my arm, ok here we go again with being pricked but she says "Roll on your hip to face your husband." Oh great, its going in my rear end! Lovely. So my dad leaves, I lift my gown and she gives me the shot. Not the greatest feeling in the world but not the worst. She tells me I will have to get another one of those this time tomorrow night. Great. So we are all sitting around just kind of staring at each other because we are still kind of in shock and Dr. Foiles finally comes in to talk to us. Its been about an hour and a half at this point. She tells me I'm not in labor but they will continue to monitor the baby through the night and if all is the same at this time tomorrow they will move me to Antepartum. Which is part of the hospital, just down the hall, where they send pregnant ladies to wait it out. So I was not going back home...for a very long time. I would be on bed rest pretty much, I could get up to use the bathroom but that would be it. They would still monitor the baby but not as much as in labor and delivery. They would come in twice a day to listen to the heartbeat and hook me up the monitor to see if everything was going ok with her and still take my temperature and blood pressure.
So she then goes on to explain there is a magnesium solution that just recently they have been giving to women that come into the hospital with the possibility of having their baby early. (all over the US) Research had shown (I dont remember the exact numbers) that some babies it had helped develop the brain better. It was totally up to us if we wanted to do it but it would be 12 hours of this magnesium and it certainly wouldn't hurt the baby. If anything it would only help. So Jim and I decided to do it. Well it sucked!!! It burned when it started pumping through my IV and it made me get sick in the middle of the night. My arm burned the whole night!
So Mom and Sue went home and we got ready for bed. Let me tell you going to the bathroom hooked up to an IV is a challenging task. I was scared to death of ripping the needle out of my arm and at the same time I didn't want the lines to fall into the toliet. Also at this time I was leaking like Niagra Falls. Everytime I would get up to go to the bathroom the flood gates would open and I would have what felt like 10 buckets of water come flowing out of me. So people wonder why I didn't know my water had broke. This is why. I never experienced that until I was in the hospital. I had a slow leak up until that time.
I also had not eaten since noon that day and they didn't want me eating anything for awhile. So I finally got to eat, I think around 9 and Jim and I tried to go to sleep for the night. They kept coming in to take my temp and check on me and I got all of 30 minutes of sleep that night. I think Jim slept well though. I woke up and was going to be sick and I called his name and he didn't move. So I called him again, he jumped up and said "What?" I said I'm going to be sick and as he runs to get the trashcan, I can't hold it anymore and throw-up my dinner on the floor beside me. And Jim steps in it as he tries to get close to me to at least get some of it in the trash. Poor guy. Then I feel bad when the nurse comes in and has to clean it up.
So we make it through the night and Kenley is still cooking inside. Thankfully my dad had gone and stayed the night at our place to take care of the dogs and he came back that day to relieve Jim of his duties. Jim ran home to shower and get us food and I was still being monitored and checked every 30 minutes. The nurse was getting upset with me because I wasn't resting and I was on the phone but really how I could rest. Its the middle of the day. Its totally bright in my room and you keep coming in to check on me.
We were asked if we wanted a NICU Doctor to come talk to us as to what to expect when Kenley came because no matter when she came she was going to be spending some time in the NICU, we of course said yes. Dr. Javier came in that day to tell us what to expect. She covered everything. From blood transfusions to bleeds in her head to how to touch her when we finally get to do that. Jim and I kept it together while she was with us but it was hard to. So it was time for the nurse to come in and give me my second steriod shot. I thought, ok, no problem. The first one wasn't bad. This one won't be either. Boy was I wrong. She hit a muscle and my leg flew up in the air and holy cow!!! It hurt like hell! My butt hurt for days afterwards!!! I was done with magnesium and they had stopped the pencillin. So I still had the needle in me but I wasn't hooked up to an IV any more so it was easier to go to the bathroom. That day came and went and it was now time to move to Antepartum.
So here I am really dazed with my mind racing a mile a minute driving myself to the hospital (which by the way thankfully was right beside my doctors office, I probably could have walked there if I wanted to) and my phone rings and my friend Lindsi's name pops up on my screen. I thought that it was weird she was calling me because we only call each other to talk dance stuff but here she was calling at this minute. I pick up and say hello and she says "What are you doing?" I reply driving to the hospital. She tells me that Mary Beth (my boss) had called her and told her she was worried about me and she wanted her to call me to make sure everything was alright. So I was on the phone with Lindsi explaining what had happened while I was driving into the hospital parking lot that I had never driven into before and was trying to read the signs and talk and figure out where to park all at the same time. I come upon two parking spots right up front that have a sign for pregnant mothers. Well I was a pregnant mother but here I go thinking of everyone else before myself again. I almost pulled in the spot but knew my car would be parked there for awhile and I didn't want to take a spot away from another pregnant mother that would really need it so I passed the spot. And mind you the parking lot was full!!! It was hard to find a spot but I found one shortly after passing up the other spot and told Lindsi I would be in contact that I was walking into the hospital.
I walk into the hospital, never having been there before so I have no clue where I'm going, and walk up to the first desk I see. There is a woman sitting behind the desk and I tell her "I'm here to get admitted." And she asks why...I say "Ummm, I'm having a baby." She then asks if I need a wheelchair and I tell her no. She tells me to get on the elevator up to the first floor take a left and I will see the people behind the desk I need to talk to. Right then Jim calls my phone and is proceeding to ask me what I want from home. God bless him for thinking of that and calling but here I was trying to find my way around the darn hospital and my mind was reeling...I couldn't think. I told him I didn't know what I wanted. Just come to the hospital and he could run back home later if he needed to. He had stopped at the house really quick to let the dogs out and thank goodness he did because lord knows how long they would have eventually gone without going outside.
So I go upstairs and walk to the desk and tell them I'm there to be admitted. They take my paper work and one lady walks me down the hall to another desk and she tells me they will finish helping me. The lady (now I remember this part but some of it is not that clear because I don't remember exactly what was said but it's close enough) asks for my name and then just like you see in the movies, "Do you have your insurance card with you?" So I give her my card, she says she'll return it in a bit and gets up to walk me to my room. She could tell I was upset so she tried her best to reassure me that everything would be ok and that just made me cry even more. I remember walking into my room and they were just finishing putting new sheets on my bed. They told me to change into the gown they had for me and after that I had some paper work to fill out. Now remember I am STILL by myself!! I change and get on the bed to fill out the paper work but first, there is a flat screen tv in the room, I have to put on a channel I want to watch. At least I could watch something on tv I enjoyed. I start the paper work and right at that minute I look up to see Jim, my mom, and my second mom, Sue come into the room. All with looks of panic on their faces. By this time, I was done crying, I was calm and the situation was what it was. Nothing I could do about it now. Jim walks over to me puts his arm around me, in his other arm hes carrying my body pillow, and hugs me and starts to cry. I hold him and let him cry for a bit but I don't get upset because I think all the upset I got out at the doctors and on the way to the hospital. He hands me my blankie...I would be lost without that thing...and pulls up a chair beside the bed to sit with me. Mom and Sue go and sit on the oh so comfy couch by the window. I'm being sarcastic. The part of the hospital I was in had just been renovated a couple years ago so I must admit it was pretty darn nice but their choice of couch, that pulled out into a little bed, was as hard as a rock. Jim can confirm that! I was in a labor and delivery room because they wanted to hook me up to all the monitors and watch the baby to see if she was coming that night.
So the nurse comes in and gets the monitor around my tummy so we can hear Kenley's heartbeat and then tells me "I hope you brought your veins with you." Meaning she was doing my IV and she hoped she didn't have to poke me a lot to get one. Well here starts another interesting part of the story. Not only did I NOT bring my veins, one nurse said I had little bird veins, but they roll also. So the nurse sits down and I hand her my arm and she starts look to find a vein. After a couple minutes she decides to try the other arm and see if she can find a vein in that one. She thinks she has found one and and I have my head turned and am holding Jim's hand because I DO NOT like needles. I hate getting my finger pricked for goodness sakes much less a huge needle put in my arm. She sticks me, misses the vein, pulls it out and sticks me again. Only to miss again. So she puts a bandaid on my arm and goes back to my left arm. She looks again and then decides to get some warm blankets and wrap them around my arm. I guess this helps bring the veins to the surface of the skin or makes them easier to see. I don't know I'm not a nurse. Anyways she lets the blankets sit for a bit and comes back and looks again. At this point another nurse had entered the room and she called that nurse over to look at my arm to try to do the IV. The nurse looks at my arm and then suggests bringing another nurse in, she said her name, to do the IV. So a third nurse comes in, looks at my arm, and in one prick gets my vein. Thank goodness. But all this pricking is only the beginning of what I had to endure while at the hospital. Just you wait until the part about Kenley arriving gets here!
So they start pumping me with penicillin, have me hooked up to the monitor and the armband to take my blood pressure every 30 minutes. Now its a waiting game. We are just waiting for Dr. Foiles to come talk to us and tell us what she thinks after they observe my monitors out in the hallway. By this time my dad had shown up and I think now its going on about 6 o'clock. The nurse that did my IV comes back and tells me shes going to give me a steriod shot. It will help develop the baby's lungs quicker. So I'm thinking in my arm, ok here we go again with being pricked but she says "Roll on your hip to face your husband." Oh great, its going in my rear end! Lovely. So my dad leaves, I lift my gown and she gives me the shot. Not the greatest feeling in the world but not the worst. She tells me I will have to get another one of those this time tomorrow night. Great. So we are all sitting around just kind of staring at each other because we are still kind of in shock and Dr. Foiles finally comes in to talk to us. Its been about an hour and a half at this point. She tells me I'm not in labor but they will continue to monitor the baby through the night and if all is the same at this time tomorrow they will move me to Antepartum. Which is part of the hospital, just down the hall, where they send pregnant ladies to wait it out. So I was not going back home...for a very long time. I would be on bed rest pretty much, I could get up to use the bathroom but that would be it. They would still monitor the baby but not as much as in labor and delivery. They would come in twice a day to listen to the heartbeat and hook me up the monitor to see if everything was going ok with her and still take my temperature and blood pressure.
So she then goes on to explain there is a magnesium solution that just recently they have been giving to women that come into the hospital with the possibility of having their baby early. (all over the US) Research had shown (I dont remember the exact numbers) that some babies it had helped develop the brain better. It was totally up to us if we wanted to do it but it would be 12 hours of this magnesium and it certainly wouldn't hurt the baby. If anything it would only help. So Jim and I decided to do it. Well it sucked!!! It burned when it started pumping through my IV and it made me get sick in the middle of the night. My arm burned the whole night!
So Mom and Sue went home and we got ready for bed. Let me tell you going to the bathroom hooked up to an IV is a challenging task. I was scared to death of ripping the needle out of my arm and at the same time I didn't want the lines to fall into the toliet. Also at this time I was leaking like Niagra Falls. Everytime I would get up to go to the bathroom the flood gates would open and I would have what felt like 10 buckets of water come flowing out of me. So people wonder why I didn't know my water had broke. This is why. I never experienced that until I was in the hospital. I had a slow leak up until that time.
I also had not eaten since noon that day and they didn't want me eating anything for awhile. So I finally got to eat, I think around 9 and Jim and I tried to go to sleep for the night. They kept coming in to take my temp and check on me and I got all of 30 minutes of sleep that night. I think Jim slept well though. I woke up and was going to be sick and I called his name and he didn't move. So I called him again, he jumped up and said "What?" I said I'm going to be sick and as he runs to get the trashcan, I can't hold it anymore and throw-up my dinner on the floor beside me. And Jim steps in it as he tries to get close to me to at least get some of it in the trash. Poor guy. Then I feel bad when the nurse comes in and has to clean it up.
So we make it through the night and Kenley is still cooking inside. Thankfully my dad had gone and stayed the night at our place to take care of the dogs and he came back that day to relieve Jim of his duties. Jim ran home to shower and get us food and I was still being monitored and checked every 30 minutes. The nurse was getting upset with me because I wasn't resting and I was on the phone but really how I could rest. Its the middle of the day. Its totally bright in my room and you keep coming in to check on me.
We were asked if we wanted a NICU Doctor to come talk to us as to what to expect when Kenley came because no matter when she came she was going to be spending some time in the NICU, we of course said yes. Dr. Javier came in that day to tell us what to expect. She covered everything. From blood transfusions to bleeds in her head to how to touch her when we finally get to do that. Jim and I kept it together while she was with us but it was hard to. So it was time for the nurse to come in and give me my second steriod shot. I thought, ok, no problem. The first one wasn't bad. This one won't be either. Boy was I wrong. She hit a muscle and my leg flew up in the air and holy cow!!! It hurt like hell! My butt hurt for days afterwards!!! I was done with magnesium and they had stopped the pencillin. So I still had the needle in me but I wasn't hooked up to an IV any more so it was easier to go to the bathroom. That day came and went and it was now time to move to Antepartum.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Chapter 1...And baby makes 3!
So here is how a normal everyday pregnancy turned into the scariest time of our lives.
When Jim and I decided to start a family we were truly blessed. We got pregnant the second time of trying. Everything was normal. Normal pregnancy (so far), normal tests, and normal ultrasounds until my 28th week. Actually my 27th week but I didn't realize it at the time. Please bare with me as this is a long story but not one that is boring. I'm starting from the beginning.
I remember very well waking up on a Thursday morning and having some "leakage" (sorry I know this is kinda gross but its part of the story) I remember reading that in your third trimester you will have more "leakage". So I thought nothing of it. I just figured it came with the territory. At that time I was in my 27th week. Well that following Tuesday I woke up (from having taught dance the night before, even doing handstands in class), went and worked out and came back home to eat. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing in the kitchen when I got a cramp in my lower abdomen. Not a bad cramp just a cramp and I remember thinking, "This doesn't feel right". I had not up until that time had any weird feelings with my body so to suddenly have this happen, I knew something was not right. I ate my lunch and decided I would lie down and see if they went away. I also knew Braxton-Hicks would be starting soon so I also thought it could just be that. I layed in bed for an hour and timed the pains. I would get one every 15 minutes and it would last about 30 to 40 seconds. So in an hours time I had 4. By now my heart was racing and I had butterflies in my stomach because I knew something was not quite right. I decided I would call my doctor but first I needed to take a shower. Showered up and I remember praying while in the shower, "Please make the pain stop, make it stop so I don't have to go to the doctors." Well that didn't happen. I called and spoke with a nurse and explained what I was feeling and she kept asking if when I got the pain it radiated to my side and around my back. And I kept saying no, because it didn't. She told me she wasn't at all worried, maybe I was getting a bladder infection, but I should come on it to be checked and if it was an infection I could go ahead and get started on meds. The thought crossed my mind to not call and tell Jim because I didn't want him to worry but I knew I couldn't do that. So I called him and told him I was having pains and I was going to the docs. He said "I'm coming home right now". I said "no no, I'm sure it is nothing, besides, I have to be at the dance studio at 4 to open it anyways". My appointment was at 3 and I just knew I would be diagnosed with an infection and be at the studio by 4. I told him by the time he got there I would be done at the docs and on my way to dance...he was about 45 minutes away from home at that time. As soon as I knew what was going on I would call him. Well of course it took them about 20 minutes to call me back at the doctors and by that time I was getting texts from Jim asking what was going on. Nothing because I haven't seen the doc yet! Dr. Foiles came in...by the way I hadn't even made my rounds at the practice and seen all the doctors. Dr. Foiles was one I had not seen yet. She was very sweet, asked what my pain felt like and I explained. She asked if I was having contractions and I responded with "I don't know what contractions feel like, I've never been pregnant before". I'm sure she thought I was a moron but oh well. She does a swab to see if there's an infection and also does an internal ultrasound to check the baby. We looked at Kenley opening and closing her mouth, we got a picture of her hand. If something was going on Kenley didn't seem bothered by it. The doctor noted that my cervix was an ok length but a little shorter then she wanted it to be but she said that she would probably want me to go home and get into bed and come back in a couple of days to have it rechecked. She also put her hand on my tummy and says "Do you feel that? You're having a contraction right now". I told her I didn't feel anything different. She comes in from checking my swab and has a seat and says "Well sweetie, it looks like your water has broken". Even before the tears had welled up in my eyes, she reached behind herself and grabbed a tissue. She knew the waterworks were coming even before I did. She then says "well we'll going to go ahead and send you over to the hospital and get you admitted". These thoughts were racing through my head...But its too early...I wanted to get a pedicure before I went into the hospital and I haven't had a chance to get one...I didn't shave my legs when I took my shower, my legs are hairy and need to be shaved...I have bills I need to mail tomorrow...But its WAY TOO EARLY...and oh yeah, I have to go open the studio at 4. Well by this time it was 4 and I knew that wasn't going to be happening. She asked me if I had a telephone to call my husband and she would go get my paperwork together and she would be back. I first call Jim and say (while I'm sobbing) "My water broke"!!! He goes "WHAT? How did that happen"?? I replied that I didn't exactly know how it happened but he needed to go straight to the hospital they were sending me there. I then called my mom who thankfully lived in the same town as we did. She answered the phone her usual cheerful self and I say (sobbing again) "Mom, my water broke". I believe she thought I was at home because she instantly starts telling me to be calm, everything will be ok. I then inform her I'm at the doctors office and they are sending me to the hospital. She tells me she'll be right there. I then text my boss and tell her that this isn't a joke, my water broke, they are sending me to the hospital. I'm sorry I can't open the studio. I don't know why but at that time I felt bad for not being able to go open the studio for her. But thats just me. I always put other people's feelings before my own. A good trait to have sometimes but at other times a not so good one to have. So the nurse comes into the room to get me and I walk with her to another room where they give me my paper work and tell me to turn it in at the desk when I check into the hospital. At this time it still hadn't hit me that I was going to be admitting myself to the hospital...by myself!!!! I'm crying as I walk through the halls and the other nurses are looking at me and making that sad face that they felt sorry for me and the other prego moms in the lobby were staring at me I know wondering what in the world had me so upset. So I was trying not to cry because I didn't want them to think anything really bad had happened because I didn't want to upset them. Again, worried about other people's feelings. They tell me not to bother checking out, they would do it for me and go ahead and go on the hospital, Dr. Foiles would meet me there. I ended up calling my mom back and telling her to meet me at the hospital because I was getting ready to head over there and she says "YOU'RE DRIVING YOURSELF THERE"??? I replied "Yes mom, my water broke, I'm not dying. It's a 2 second drive to the hospital, meet me there". I was still my sarcastic self, my water breaking hadn't changed that.
And so this is just the beginning of the story...I'll start with the second chaper in another post.
When Jim and I decided to start a family we were truly blessed. We got pregnant the second time of trying. Everything was normal. Normal pregnancy (so far), normal tests, and normal ultrasounds until my 28th week. Actually my 27th week but I didn't realize it at the time. Please bare with me as this is a long story but not one that is boring. I'm starting from the beginning.
I remember very well waking up on a Thursday morning and having some "leakage" (sorry I know this is kinda gross but its part of the story) I remember reading that in your third trimester you will have more "leakage". So I thought nothing of it. I just figured it came with the territory. At that time I was in my 27th week. Well that following Tuesday I woke up (from having taught dance the night before, even doing handstands in class), went and worked out and came back home to eat. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was standing in the kitchen when I got a cramp in my lower abdomen. Not a bad cramp just a cramp and I remember thinking, "This doesn't feel right". I had not up until that time had any weird feelings with my body so to suddenly have this happen, I knew something was not right. I ate my lunch and decided I would lie down and see if they went away. I also knew Braxton-Hicks would be starting soon so I also thought it could just be that. I layed in bed for an hour and timed the pains. I would get one every 15 minutes and it would last about 30 to 40 seconds. So in an hours time I had 4. By now my heart was racing and I had butterflies in my stomach because I knew something was not quite right. I decided I would call my doctor but first I needed to take a shower. Showered up and I remember praying while in the shower, "Please make the pain stop, make it stop so I don't have to go to the doctors." Well that didn't happen. I called and spoke with a nurse and explained what I was feeling and she kept asking if when I got the pain it radiated to my side and around my back. And I kept saying no, because it didn't. She told me she wasn't at all worried, maybe I was getting a bladder infection, but I should come on it to be checked and if it was an infection I could go ahead and get started on meds. The thought crossed my mind to not call and tell Jim because I didn't want him to worry but I knew I couldn't do that. So I called him and told him I was having pains and I was going to the docs. He said "I'm coming home right now". I said "no no, I'm sure it is nothing, besides, I have to be at the dance studio at 4 to open it anyways". My appointment was at 3 and I just knew I would be diagnosed with an infection and be at the studio by 4. I told him by the time he got there I would be done at the docs and on my way to dance...he was about 45 minutes away from home at that time. As soon as I knew what was going on I would call him. Well of course it took them about 20 minutes to call me back at the doctors and by that time I was getting texts from Jim asking what was going on. Nothing because I haven't seen the doc yet! Dr. Foiles came in...by the way I hadn't even made my rounds at the practice and seen all the doctors. Dr. Foiles was one I had not seen yet. She was very sweet, asked what my pain felt like and I explained. She asked if I was having contractions and I responded with "I don't know what contractions feel like, I've never been pregnant before". I'm sure she thought I was a moron but oh well. She does a swab to see if there's an infection and also does an internal ultrasound to check the baby. We looked at Kenley opening and closing her mouth, we got a picture of her hand. If something was going on Kenley didn't seem bothered by it. The doctor noted that my cervix was an ok length but a little shorter then she wanted it to be but she said that she would probably want me to go home and get into bed and come back in a couple of days to have it rechecked. She also put her hand on my tummy and says "Do you feel that? You're having a contraction right now". I told her I didn't feel anything different. She comes in from checking my swab and has a seat and says "Well sweetie, it looks like your water has broken". Even before the tears had welled up in my eyes, she reached behind herself and grabbed a tissue. She knew the waterworks were coming even before I did. She then says "well we'll going to go ahead and send you over to the hospital and get you admitted". These thoughts were racing through my head...But its too early...I wanted to get a pedicure before I went into the hospital and I haven't had a chance to get one...I didn't shave my legs when I took my shower, my legs are hairy and need to be shaved...I have bills I need to mail tomorrow...But its WAY TOO EARLY...and oh yeah, I have to go open the studio at 4. Well by this time it was 4 and I knew that wasn't going to be happening. She asked me if I had a telephone to call my husband and she would go get my paperwork together and she would be back. I first call Jim and say (while I'm sobbing) "My water broke"!!! He goes "WHAT? How did that happen"?? I replied that I didn't exactly know how it happened but he needed to go straight to the hospital they were sending me there. I then called my mom who thankfully lived in the same town as we did. She answered the phone her usual cheerful self and I say (sobbing again) "Mom, my water broke". I believe she thought I was at home because she instantly starts telling me to be calm, everything will be ok. I then inform her I'm at the doctors office and they are sending me to the hospital. She tells me she'll be right there. I then text my boss and tell her that this isn't a joke, my water broke, they are sending me to the hospital. I'm sorry I can't open the studio. I don't know why but at that time I felt bad for not being able to go open the studio for her. But thats just me. I always put other people's feelings before my own. A good trait to have sometimes but at other times a not so good one to have. So the nurse comes into the room to get me and I walk with her to another room where they give me my paper work and tell me to turn it in at the desk when I check into the hospital. At this time it still hadn't hit me that I was going to be admitting myself to the hospital...by myself!!!! I'm crying as I walk through the halls and the other nurses are looking at me and making that sad face that they felt sorry for me and the other prego moms in the lobby were staring at me I know wondering what in the world had me so upset. So I was trying not to cry because I didn't want them to think anything really bad had happened because I didn't want to upset them. Again, worried about other people's feelings. They tell me not to bother checking out, they would do it for me and go ahead and go on the hospital, Dr. Foiles would meet me there. I ended up calling my mom back and telling her to meet me at the hospital because I was getting ready to head over there and she says "YOU'RE DRIVING YOURSELF THERE"??? I replied "Yes mom, my water broke, I'm not dying. It's a 2 second drive to the hospital, meet me there". I was still my sarcastic self, my water breaking hadn't changed that.
And so this is just the beginning of the story...I'll start with the second chaper in another post.
Who has time?
My first question is who has time to do these darn things? I certainly don't so why in the world have I just signed up to have one? Heres why...as I was laying in bed last night, scrolling through FB like I usually do before I fall asleep I came upon a dance friend of mine who had posted his blog address. Being the nosey person I am I went to it and instantly became in thralled with his and his wife's posts and knew right then and there I wanted to start one of these. Jim and I have been through some trials and tribulations this past year but nothing compared to my friend and his wife. I got strength and confidence to do this just from reading his posts. I love love love reading everyone elses blogs but the thought of starting my own was never a thought. Like I said, who has time? I certainly don't but by golly I'm going to try to make time...at least once a week.
I also wanted to start this because I saw it as a theraputic way of writing and sharing the ordeal I have been through this year. Even if no one reads this or comments on it thats fine. Just to be able to write this stuff down and get it out is enough for me.
I also wanted to start this because I saw it as a theraputic way of writing and sharing the ordeal I have been through this year. Even if no one reads this or comments on it thats fine. Just to be able to write this stuff down and get it out is enough for me.
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